Walking on Sunshine

Bring me sunshine, in your smile.
Bring me laughter, all the while.
In this world where we live, there should be more happiness.
So much joy you can give to each brand new bright tomorrow!
Make me happy, through the years.
Never bring me any tears.
Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above,
Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love.

(Dedicated to Adrian, the sunshine of my life, and Morecambe and Wise, of course.)

May we all have a vision now and then...

"We need to care more about each other in the world and show more feelings, be more open and find the warmth between people. The chilling attitude of today scares me. It's like it's forbidden to be happy. We are so afraid of each other. Afraid not to be good enough. We must learn how to dare to give more of ourselves. Because we really don't have anything to lose."

Agnetha Faltskog (courtesy of http://abbamikory.blogs.com/)

Love Is the Answer

"Love is the most important thing in my life, I'm happy with the love I have. My music is all about feelings. In a way they can also be a work for mourning. For example, it took me a long time to get over a relationship I had. Lucky love, doesn't exist, according to me. Love is just a struggle and happiness is something you can only get to feel for fraction of a second."

Anni-Frid Lyngstad, 1984 (courtesy of http://abbamikory.blogs.com/)

And my twilight images go by

Once more into my arid days like dew,
Like wind from an oasis, or the sound
Of cold sweet water bubbling underground,
A treacherous messenger, the thought of you
Comes to destroy me; once more I renew
Firm faith in your abundance, whom I found
Long since to be but just one other mound
Of sand, whereon no green thing ever grew.
And once again, and wiser in no wise,
I chase your coloured phantom on the air,
And sob and curse and fall and weep and rise
And stumble pitifully on to where,
Miserable and lost, with stinging eyes,
Once more I clasp,—and there is nothing there.

Edna St. Vincent Millay.

Rediscovering Fältskog

I have been re-assessing the collective works of Agnetha Fältskog, one of ABBA's two lead singers. She was always my number 2, after the Goddess, because Frida always sang the "I'm getting on with my life no matter how much it hurts, so piss off and take your white sombrero with you" songs. But I have come to realise that I have more in common with Agnetha, emotionally speaking. Her songs always did break my heart, but they have even more poignancy now. It is a cathartic experience listening to the angst of "SOS," or the devastation emanating from "The Winner Takes It All," or the timeless ache behind "My Love, My Life. " So too are there golden treasures buried within her solo albums. The emptiness of "Utan Dig" (Without You) from 1967, and the bittersweet "Maybe It Was Magic" from 1987 immediately spring to mind. Her 2004 comeback, My Colouring Book, contains some of the most beautiful and heart-wrenching songs ever written: "What Now, My Love," "If I Thought You'd Ever Change Your Mind" and "Fool Am I" to name a few. But nowhere is that hollowness, that despair more evident than on a breathtaking ballad brought to life by the Queen of Heartbreak herself:

"Though it may not be right, to give up the fight
I'm sailing away, now I'm on my own, alone
But sometimes when I'm dreaming, and I dream a lot
these days,
I meet someone who understands,
who leads me through the haze..."

Taken from "Sometimes When I'm Dreaming."

Was it a dream, a lie?

Winter Reflections

And in the frosty season, when the sun
Was set, and visible for many a mile
The cottage windows blazed through twilight gloom,
I heeded not their summons : happy time
It was indeed for all of us – for me
It was a time of rapture !... while far distant hills
Into the tumult sent an alien sound
Of melancholy not unnoticed, while the stars
Eastward were sparkling clear, and in the west
The orange sky of evening died away...
...and I stood and watched
Till all was tranquil as a dreamless sleep.

Extract from "The Prelude," by William Wordsworth

But once in a lifetime...

"I could let this die with the rest of me, I suppose, but as one gets older, one's fears subside. What becomes more and more important is to be known; known for all that you were during this brief stay. How sad, it seems to me, to leave this earth without those you love the most ever really knowing who you were."

The Bridges of Madison County

The Things We Do For Love

To a Stranger
(with apologies to 10CC.)

Passing stranger! you do not know
How longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking,
Or she I was seeking
(It comes to me as a dream)

I have somewhere surely
Lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall'd as we flit by each other,
Fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,

You grew up with me,
Were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become
not yours only nor left my body mine only,

You give me the pleasure of your eyes,
face, flesh as we pass,
You take of my beard, breast, hands,
in return,

I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you
when I sit alone or wake at night, alone
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

Walt Whitman

Victorian Architecture for a Modern Glasgow

As many visitors already know, the Kelvingrove Art Gallery & Museum was recently restored during an expansive £27.9 million makeover, making it even more beautiful than ever. As luck would have it, one of my dearest friends visited Glasgow in September, with her husband and parents. Her father, Digby Jones, took this spectacular photograph inside the gallery, and I thought I would share it with you all. I am delighted by the renovations, and thankful that many of my old favourites (the giraffe and Sir Roger) are still very much a focal point. Is it any wonder this is the most visited museum in Scotland? I can hardly wait to see it all in person.

(A special thank you to Mr. Jones for making my Glasgow look even more architecturally brilliant than it already is.)

Glasgow, December 1976

There's a wee boy running through the front gates of the Botanic Gardens, while soft snow cloaks the West End of Glasgow in pure whiteness. Wrapped in his warm school coat, Hillhead scarf and wooly blue gloves, the lad is off like a shot. He runs faster as he nears Kibble Palace, his face shining in the cold winter air, and opens the old creaky door to the tropical paradise inside. He leans over the edge of the giant pond, marvelling at the darting goldfish shimmering under the water, not really comprehending the dichotomy between the winter wonderland and this balmy oasis. He gazes around, entranced by the beauty of the displaced jungle in the heart of Glasgow. He's only got a few desultory moments to embrace it all before he has to catch the Number 8 bus outside Asda's to Maryhill. He can't be late for his last piano lesson of the year; nor can he forget his excitement about Christmas with his grandparents in Clydebank. The brightly coloured lights along Dumbarton Rd. - this will be the Christmas of all Christmases, but he lingers at the edge of the pond, allowing the fragrant air to envelop him one last time...

Happy Christmas.

A Cottage for Sale

Well, actually Dove Cottage is not for sale, but no doubt Judy would have approved of it. 2007 is going to be incandescent with shimmering light and beauty - I'm betting the rest of my life on it.

Sometimes When I'm Dreaming

All the friends I believed in
I believed in for a while
They had their flair
They had their style
But nobody quite got it right
Nobody knew just how it feels to be me

But sometimes when I'm dreaming
And I dream a lot these days
I meet someone who understands
Who leads me through the haze
It's only when I'm dreaming
That I fall in love for real
But I wake up screaming
Sometimes when I'm dreaming

And it's now
That I need a friend
I reach out for the phone
Nobody's there
Nobody's home
Though it may not be right to give up the fight
I'm sailing away
Now I'm on my own
Alone

But sometimes when I'm dreaming
And I dream a lot these days
I meet someone who understands
Who leads me through the haze
It's only when I'm dreaming
that I fall in love for real
But I wake up screaming
Sometimes when I'm dreaming

But I wake up screaming
Sometimes when I'm dreaming

Recorded by Agnetha Fältskog.

"Its mystery is pure and absolute"

"Do what you have to to be happy in this life. There is so much beauty. Go well, my children."

Francesca Johnson, The Bridges of Madison County.

In the bleak midwinter

"Sometimes the cabin's gloomy and the table's bare
But then he'll kiss me and it's Christmas everywhere
Troubles fly away and life is easy go
Does he love me good, that's all I need to know..."

From "Happiness is Just a Thing Called Joe" by Judy Garland.

Channelling Dorothy

No, not that one. The other one. Here is an original composition.

A Hate Poem
(Dedicated to Dorothy Parker)

I hate barking dogs - they hurt my ears
I hate buses - they grind my nerves
I hate morning people - they should be killed
I hate hair - what little I have left
I hate waking up - let me sleep forever
I hate loud people - muzzle them permanently
I hate religion - we're all dying anyway
I hate cooking - open a tin of soup instead
I hate sharks - they shred my skin like razorblades
I hate blood - there's so much of the damned stuff
I hate the Kennedys - you all know why
I hate politicians - they're fuckwits
I hate horse radish - who in the hell thought that up?
I hate neighbours - they keep me awake
I hate pain - you think I'd be used to it by now
I hate staplers - they hurt my fingers
I hate Toblerone - Billy was right
I hate pills - relief is only temporary
I hate promises - they mean nothing
I hate me.
I hate, I hate, I hate.

Little drops of sunshine

Who knew this Christmas season was going to be filled with such overwhelming joy? Certainly not me - I had no idea:

"Well, when I was a little kid, I use to put my nose right up to them. And I was just amazed because it looked like this mass of dots, and none of it made sense until I pulled back. Life looks like that mass of dots to me sometimes. None of it makes any sense, but I like to think that, from God's perspective, life, everything - even this - makes sense. It's not just dots. Instead we're all connected, and it's beautiful and funny and good. This close we can't expect it to make sense, not right now." (from Latter Days.)

Hey Adrian, you rock my world, dude. Happy Christmas!

The David Complex

But I thought you should know,
That inside I've grown cold,
And I fight every day to lose control,
It's a Saturday, I'm coming down

For the first time, I've seen stars at night,
For the first time, I'm on fire...

"I'm Coming Down," lyrics by Keanu-clone David Usher.

London Calling

Feels like fire
I'm so in love with you
Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay-bad at bay
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away-yeah
I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal...

"The Power of Love" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

This kind of certainty

If this is a ghetto,
I'm in it with you
If it's just a prison,
I'm locked in it too
I tried to leave you,
but after all that we had said
I went to pieces when I should have shouted and screamed instead:
So sorry, I said


Your powers of persuasion,
those quizzical eyes
Have tired and tied me, with innocent guile
I would have walked out, and after all the tears we shed
I should have stalked out, gone and painted the town bright red
But instead...

The world's second most beautiful woman?

She's divine, she's beautiful, she's sexy, she's smart, she's Jacqueline Bissett. Okay, so she's not going to ever win an Oscar, but how many of my favourite actors/actresses ever do? And she's the same age as the ever-gorgeous Frida. Whatever would my therapist have to say about that?

*Oh, and Adrian...thanks for bringing the sun out. :-)

Keeping the faith

The final new Supernatural episode of 2006 airs tonight. The episode is called Croatan and features our resident hunks Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. Finally, a reason to live.

A storm approaching

The life of Judy Garland was a stormy one. Used and abused by many around her, she fought valiantly against her terrible insecurities and drug addictions. The more she reached out, the more she was rejected. She never had the confidence that most people seem to have inside them, despite her obvious charisma and sense of humour. We knew she was funny, talented, intelligent and generous to a fault, but she herself did not know that. She never felt beautiful, or sexy or desirable. "The summer flower is to the summer sweet, though to itself it only live and die," as Shakespeare said.

Maybe if Judy had found the ability to see herself as others see her, she would have been even more dynamic, happier. She might even have overcome her reliance on pills and lived to see her beloved children grow up. But the pills were a necessary escape from the horrors of reality, and the pills came to control her life; she couldn't do without them. How could she function without them? She'd tried nights without them, but not taking pills resulted in utterly harrowing escapes from suicide and self-hatred. Instead of sleeping naturally, as most people do, Judy fought the night demons with grit and courage to the end. Her precious pills transported her to the Land of Nod, when the world was cold and dark, and the end of the rainbow could not be seen.

I hope she's in a sweeter valley now. And I hope she found her Paradise where "happy little bluebirds fly", with a devoted companion by her side.

The Sun Will Shine Again!

What a day this has been
What a rare mood I'm in
Why it's, almost like being In Love
There's a smile on my face,
For the whole Human race
Why it's, almost like being In Love

All the music of life seems to be
Like a bell that is ringing for me
And from the way that I feel
When that bell starts to peel
I could tell I was falling
I could swear I was falling
It's almost like being in love
It's almost, it's almost...

But this can't be love,
Because I feel so well
No sobs, no sorrows, no sighs
This can't be love, I get no dizzy spells
My head is not in the sky
My heart does not stand still
Hear it beat, this is too sweet
To be love

This can't be love,
Because I feel so well
And yet I love to love
Glad I'm alive
Love to live, think I'll survive

There's a smile on my face
For the whole human race
All the music of life seems to be
Like a bell that is ringing for me

And from the way, that I feel
When that bell starts to peel
I could tell I was falling
I would swear I was falling
It's almost like being in love...
Almost like being in love!

Judy Garland. Almost Like Being in Love.

The dreams that you dare to dream

"Some day I'll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me, where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me..."

Hymn to Intellectual Beauty (excerpt)

Spirit of BEAUTY, that dost consecrate
With thine own hues all thou dost shine upon
Of human thought or form, where art thou gone?
Why dost thou pass away and leave our state,
This dim vast vale of tears, vacant and desolate?
Ask why the sunlight not for ever
Weaves rainbows o'er yon mountain-river,
Why aught should fail and fade that once is shown,
Why fear and dream and death and birth
Cast on the daylight of this earth
Such gloom, why man has such a scope
For love and hate, despondency and hope?

Percy Bysshe Shelley.

"Beauty is the wonder of wonders..."

So says The Picture of Dorian Gray. But I wonder how Oscar Wilde would have described this young man?

Alex Wyndham's star is on the rise, but I think it's fair to say this recent RADA graduate will go far. Very far. Maybe he could play Keanu in a biopic? Stay tuned for more from this Line of Beauty actor who gives whole new meaning to the word pulchritudinous...

Lake Poets for Christmas