To baldly go where this man has been before!

Fabulous news, dear readers (who do I think I am, Jane Austen?). Yours truly, in keeping with his fandabidozi regeneration into a better, stronger, happier dude, has taken the plunge and gone with a more honest hair cut. For twenty years, I have channelled great magicians of the past by creating an illusion of puff candy out of nothing at all! Now those shackles of pompadour patheticness have been cast off forever. In short: I have finally accepted my baldness. And it's wonderful. No more 2.5 hours in front of the mirror trying to look like a human being; what a waste of time that all was. I will now devote my time to eating breakfast in the morning. This dramatic removal of what was left of the follicled fuzzbox appears to be the final step in the revamp of me. First, learning to love myself; second, accepting the peaceful life of a monk; third, realising how GLORIOUS it is to be free, and now this. My God, it's so liberating to let it all go. And, dear friends, this makes my role in the Universe much clearer: I'm bald, permanently single, hilarious, and blissfully happy...long may it continue! WAHOO! I love 2007.