THESE ARE THE SONGS OF MY LIFE!

No. 3 - CHAIN REACTION by Diana Ross

Funny story: I was nearly EVICTED from the Coliseum during a performance of this song in '89. Don't laugh, it's true. But wait: let's examine the facts first. And let me just say that I am not a Diana Ross fan, not by any stretch of the imagination, but she does have the unbelievable honour of being the ONLY artist to appear twice in my Top Ten. Not even the ABBA women individually can claim this honour. So what's the fixation on this song then, I hear you ask?

Let's jump in the TARDIS and transport ourselves back to '86. There I am, with my Flock of Seagulls hair, 28-inch waist and impossibly tight British designer drainpipe jeans which could only be worn for short periods at a time, standing on the edge of a smoky dance floor feeling no urge to move, having spent myself entirely during the Bananarama songfest. All of a sudden, this SOUND hits me, this incredible beat that miraculously forces me to do one thing only: DANCE. This was my first encounter with "Chain Reaction," the most explosive dance song I'd ever heard. By the end of it, I was a different person. This was more than a song; it was a transfiguring event. (Sadly, I'm not kidding.) Anyway, it occurred to me some time after this '80s moment of extensive hip gyration, that this was every bit as exhilarating as an ABBA song. And one day it struck me why I loved it so much: it was my fantasy set to song lyrics. "Chain Reaction," composed by the Brothers Gibb, is one of the most perfect pop songs ever crafted.

The song hit the top of the UK charts, and became her BIGGEST SINGLE EVER in Britain. Naturally, it did nothing in North America, but by that time I was getting used to songs I adored being ignored over here, while watching them become mega hits in Europe. The song was the first single from the Eaten Alive album. The extended version of "Chain" used to send me into paroxyms of squealing delight. I knew then that I was a teenage girl in New Romantic drag.

Now, jump forward three years: the supreme being that is Diana begins to sing "Chain" during her performance in Vancouver. I leap to my feet, forgetting that my shocked parents are sitting near me, forgetting that a dear friend is next to me and may be embarrassed by my frantic cavorting. I feel the rhythm, I come alive and dance with unleashed abandon in the aisles, wondering why I'm the only one affected in such a way. An enormous bouncer, unmoved by the song's power and smelling of Drano for some reason, appears from nowhere and suspects I'm going to incite a riot of deliriously happy people wanting to shake their bodies. (That is, after all, what Diana has been encouraging the sedate Vancouver audience to do all night.) I was instructed to return to my seat, dejected but unable to stop moving. Ten minutes later, Ms. Ross accomplishes the impossible with the conservative crowd: during her Supremes megamix they rise to lose their inhibitions. I glare at the security man.

"Chain Reaction" only became more of a personal crusade for me over the years: I was motivated by its every nuance, and the overtly suggestive words kept me believing in real love. It had to happen some day, I thought. Surely to God I would not be left to wander the planet alone forever, missing that opportunity to find "the one." Surely the fantasy would come true, if only I believed enough...

You took a mystery and made me want it
You got a pedestal and put me on it
You made me love you out of feeling nothing
Something that you do
And I was there not dancing with anyone
You took a little, then you took me over
You set your mark on stealing my heart away
Crying, trying, anything for you

I'm in the middle of a chain reaction
You give me all the after midnight action
I wanna get you where I can let you make all that love to me...